Monologue of my thoughts during a typical journey home from language school:

[Leaving the building…] Oh good, my bike’s still there!....oh, there’s a dog…don’t look directly at it…just get on the bike and go past…oops, that’s not the way to get on a bike wearing a skirt, hope no-one saw!...ok, I’m off… road is not too busy that’s good….go AROUND the ditch…that’s right, ok….head for the main road…..past all these cafes, past the shop…onto the main road…..ok, I’m going the wrong way down the road, against the traffic, but that’s ok, that’s normal…but I can’t do this for too long, I do need to get across to the right side at some point… ok…there’s a gap…slow down…look behind, look all around…ok, ready? U TURN! U TURN!!!!...phew…can relax for a bit…BEEEEP!...what was that? Why did they beep? Is something wrong?....oh no, it’s normal, it’s just cos I’m farang (foreign)!.....DOG! DOG!...don’t look directly at it!!...is it moving towards me?...no, it’s sat down again…phew!...keep going!...BEEP!..what’s that? Am I doing something wrong?...no! I forgot, I’m farang…it’s normal…right, slow down, traffic lights…stop….but not too near that dog…it looks ill…did it just look at me?? Look straight ahead, ignore the dog, don’t look directly at it! Ok…all the motorbikes are ignoring the red light…hmmm…I won’t risk that, I’m not fast enough…BEEP! Laughter!...hmmm, yes I am farang, get over it. Green light, ride, ride ride!!! Over the bridge…DOGS!...about 10 of them! But they’re asleep, that’s good…try not to make the bike rattle too much…go slowly…make sure they don’t wake up…don’t look directly at them!!!...phew…nearly home now, past the men pumping water out of the school into the river…only a few more dogs to go now….turn the corner, down the hill, into my road…go AROUND the ditches, past the scabby dog…don’t make eye contact….ooo, some friendly people…nod the head, smile, ‘sa wat dii kha!’…pull up to the house…open the gate…park the bike…leap off…oops, must remember how to get off wearing a skirt…in the door…safe til next time!