Christ, Culture and Contentment

Nearly 6 months ago now I wrote a blog entry called Culture and Conviction. You can read it here. As my thoughts have developed slightly since that time I decided to write a culture and conviction part 2 entry, only with a different name. This is it. Actually, I haven’t learned anything new since then, only the same thing more profoundly.

The battle is hotter than ever. Perhaps you would expect me to say that an extra 6 months would have made things easier, perhaps I can speak a bit more Thai, communicate more easily and understand what’s going on around me a lot more. I actually think the opposite is true. The more I learn about this culture, the less I understand, the more uncomfortable I feel, and the more I want out. I am sure this is normal, it must get worse before it gets better, but I am convinced that the idea of ‘just be patient, it will pass’ is a cop out solution to this problem, as is the, ‘just learn to like Thai culture’ approach. So if I don’t fight these battles properly and honestly now, I will have exactly the same problems when I go back to the UK, and for the rest of my life. I must fight to value Christ more than culture. I must fight to be content in Him now, or I will never be content, in any culture.

I suppose if my theology was a bit different I could just say ‘clearly Thailand is not for me, I will go home now and do something that fits my personality more’. But it doesn’t work like that. I will go home eventually of course, and maybe I will end up doing something that fits with me better for a while, and maybe I will come back to Thailand one day, or maybe I won’t. I don’t know. All I know is that right now I am here, in Thailand. And so I am called to fight the battle to be content in Jesus in Thailand this day.

Since I wrote previously, some things have changed. I rarely miss cold weather and duvets for one thing, and the battle is less about wanting to go home. On a purely functional level I feel sufficiently enough like Thailand is home now that I am not missing things from the UK all that much. What I miss is relationships. Being able to talk to people. Being able to know how to move a conversation from the superficial to the deep. Being able to know how to read people and situations. Being able to say what I want to say and what I need to say in order to not seem disinterested, odd, impolite. Being able to make friends easily. Being able to study the Bible in depth with people. Being able… just being able. In a way it feels a bit like what it must feel to have a disability. I feel weak and lame, I feel blind and deaf and dumb. A verbal cripple. But there is great joy in that. I think of all those in the gospels who were outcasts in this way – they knew they needed one thing. Jesus. And they went to Him unashamed.

The other thing that has changed is that the stakes are higher. Much more is expected of me. Deeper levels of interaction with people and culture are required, and the deeper the interaction, the deeper the wounds I have received as parts of my sinful self have come up against certain parts of Thai culture. And as I’ve grappled with these things before God I have realised that bitterness in this is lethal. Bitterness, [also known as ‘I’ve-Had-a-Rough-Deal-and-Everything-That-Happens-To-Me-is-Rubbish-Syndrome’], must be killed or it will kill us. As I take these things to Jesus, I am finding that His comfort is more than sufficient to take away the sting of bitterness, while not necessarily removing the hurt.

And so I choose to be content in Christ, and I will not be disappointed. Content with His comfort. Content that He understands me. Content that my identity is in Him. Content that He uses even the painful things that happen so that I’m better off than if they had never happened (Romans 8:28 - “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”).

Finally, be blessed by watching this interview with my newest friend, Philippa Wilson, who is a Brit working with students in France. Especially watch out for the words quoted under the video – almost exactly what I have also been thinking and learning recently, but put much better than I could express it!

Learning

Learning something new is hard. For the last 5 months since I arrived in Thailand I have been learning to speak Thai; sometimes formally in language school, sometimes informally in conversations with students, and 2 weeks ago I started to learn to read and write. For the most part I have been really enjoying all of this, but this week I have started to feel how difficult this whole process is!

It is hard on the mind because is has to learn a completely new way of thinking. It has to connect sounds with a whole new set of symbols, and then work out the meaning of those symbols when they come together to form words.

It is hard on the body because so much time has to be spent sitting still concentrating on learning this new code, and then turning symbols into sounds, spoken clumsily from a mouth which is still getting used to how different all these sounds are! It is physically draining.

It is hard on the emotions because I feel like I am a child again. I have to accept the fact that I put hours of work into reading, understanding and discussing with my teacher, what is effectively a simple, children's story - only a few lines! And I still don't understand all of it! I spend what seems like an AGE reading out-loud to my teacher, one word at a time. Sometimes it is so slow that we spend a whole lesson working on only one paragraph! It is demoralising.

Right now it is hard to believe that I will ever get faster or better at this! And my pride wants me to be good at it for all the wrong reasons. Reflecting on all this I have come to the following conclusions (not all connected to each other!):

• Aside from all that I believe about God and His helping and aiding, on a purely rational level I know that I WILL get better at this language, because that's what just happens. I learned to read and write English, I learned to play the guitar, I see my improvement on the piano all the time. When we practice things they get easier. Simple fact of life! We just need to be patient. I've been doing this for 2 weeks...of course I won't be able to read properly yet!
  
  
• My attitude in the midst of this process is all important. My very first day of learning to write, I learned a huge lesson. Making a mistake, I threw down my pencil in exasperation. My teacher exclaimed 'jai-yen!' (calm down, be patient) and with this single word I felt instant conviction of my childish attitude. It is not only important for my own growth in likeness to Jesus that I watch my attitude as I learn Thai, but also for my witness to others about my Lord Jesus.
  
  
• It is good that I feel weak. I think perhaps I have become too comfortable. I remember when as a VERY new Christian I first started to understand 2 Corinthians 4:7-9:
  "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
  I was SO excited to realise that it was ok that I felt weak - in fact, it is when I am seen to be weak that God is seen to be great! Imagine if I was some superhuman amazing person, then no-one would wonder why I don't fall apart when life gets tough, they'd just think it was part of my amazing powers! But then imagine (no, don't imagine, this one's the real one..!!) if I was a frail, broken, weak person who struggles and groans - then when I keep going in tough times people will wonder why such a rubbish person is able to do so. The only conclusion can be that it is God, it is His power, His energy, His love, Him at work - cos it is obviously not me!! Why do I always work so hard to throw doubt on this truth? Why do I want to be strong? Why do I want to cover up God's power at work by appearing 'together' myself?

Wow, I feel a whole other blog entry coming on here....better stop before I get carried away!

My prayer is that my whole attitude to learning Thai, including my motivations, studying and attempts to use the language, would bring God glory - if that means I have to be weak, so be it!

Sola Fide, Sola Gracia, Sola Deo Gloria.

'a frog fries the garlic' - only 50 baht!

So, today was my last day in Lopburi for the time being. I finished the second module of my language study and I move to Nakhon Sawan tomorrow. I celebrated mainly by eating sweet things. But a totally unexpected highlight of my day was lunch. I went to the Mosquito Restaurant with some of the other language learners (that is its official name by the way…its other official name is the Blue Restaurant…), and as we sat down we were handed a newly created English Menu. Concealing our laughter as we read it was difficult.

These are some of the dishes on offer in the Mosquito Restaurant:

Some of my favourites:

‘A frog fries the garlic’

‘Minced snake-head fish meat’

‘Mix noodles made of green’

‘Mix total up the friend’

‘Mix a pig praises’

‘Cook time squid hand, frame pig’

‘Cook time shrimp hand, fried rice the shrimp’

Even reading them now, for about the 50 millionth time, I am laughing my head off! Laughter truly is a wonderful gift! The Lord knows how to bless us when we’re least expecting it…and in very weird and wonderful ways!

Favourite language mistakes #4

Scene: Alison walks into the coffee room at school and is greeted by her Thai teachers. Some conversation ensues in Thai. Alison idly busies herself making a cup of coffee and answers questions about what she had for lunch, where she went, who was there etc. After a while Alison starts to get a bit lost....it deserves a mention here that unless Alison concentrates REALLY hard, she does not notice the difference between the words 'tengaan' (marry) and 'thamngaan' (work)...this is where the problem began...

Teacher Wan: Alison, would you like to marry an old person?

Alison (clearly hearing something else): Yes

Wan (laughing): really? You would like to marry an old person?

Alison: Yes

Other teachers (also laughing): old person?

Alison: (slightly suspiciously this time):...yes?

More laughter.

The Conversation switches to English.

Alison: What? What did I say?

Teachers: You will marry an old person!

Alison: What!? No, you asked me if I like working with old people!!

More laughter, Alison joins in...then makes a swift exit with her coffee.

Favourite language mistakes #3

Word for milk: 'nom'
Word for wind: 'lom'

Recently I have caused a few giggles for asking, not for a pineapple milk-shake as I intended, but pineapple with 'wind'!

Keep pressing on Alison....keep pressing on!

Favourite language mistakes #1&2

So, I thought it might be amusing to document my favourite language blunders on here! I made two today (a good sign as it means I am using language!)

#1: My teacher asked me (in Thai), how long it takes to go from England to France on the train. I replied confidently (in Thai) ‘1 year’! She looked very surprised and assumed I had misunderstood the question, I on the other hand was oblivious to my mistake…so we went through it bit by bit, and I was assuring her that it really was that fast (I thought I had said ‘1 hour!) Eventually we went through it in English: ‘by train-it takes-1-hour….’ As soon as I said ‘hour’ I realised that I had said ‘pii’ (year) instead if ‘chuamoong’ (hour!)

#2: After dinner we went to get rotee (dessert). The lady who made it was very good at it, we were amazed by the way she did things with her hands and flicked the knife back into the butter, so I leaned over and said (what I thought was) ‘you are skilled’…but what I actually said was something more like ‘you are cold’!

Hmmm…I have to laugh, don’t think there is any other way of getting through this!!!