"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."
1 Corinthians 2:1-5
Being bad at the language you have to use all the time has one advantage - it's not so easy to get proud! When I try to explain things clumsily in Thai, full of mistakes, full of fear and lacking any kind of eloquence it's like there is a big flashing sign on my head saying 'WEAK'.
This can be uncomfortable.
But, today it hit me - if I am weak there is much joy and freedom to be had!!
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Wow!!! Do I delight in weakness? Only if I have the right perspective - that it is Jesus who is the focus, not me! If I really want people to see that it is God who has the power then I need to be willing to be weak, and not only willing, but JOYFUL, joyful that God will get the glory. So while I do hope that my Thai skills will improve and I will be able to explain things properly one day, I rejoice that my weakness in this area at the moment enables me to remember that it is Jesus who is strong, not me!
So I hope the big flashing sign on my head doesn't just say WEAK, but:
'WEAK AND GLAD'
May God be glorified in all my weakness.