Balcony

It's too hot to linger there for most of the day. But in the hours that frame the day, as the sun starts her slow but sure climb onto the main-stage, and then again when the performance is over, and, all sung-out, she slips quickly and quietly back-stage, that's when I step outside and watch, listen, read and whisper small, broken words of response.

Tonight: Ecclesiastes. Ears drink in audio, while eyes follow text, breathing ink.

Weak and glad!!!!

"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."
1 Corinthians 2:1-5

Being bad at the language you have to use all the time has one advantage - it's not so easy to get proud! When I try to explain things clumsily in Thai, full of mistakes, full of fear and lacking any kind of eloquence it's like there is a big flashing sign on my head saying 'WEAK'.

This can be uncomfortable.

But, today it hit me - if I am weak there is much joy and freedom to be had!!

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Wow!!! Do I delight in weakness? Only if I have the right perspective - that it is Jesus who is the focus, not me! If I really want people to see that it is God who has the power then I need to be willing to be weak, and not only willing, but JOYFUL, joyful that God will get the glory. So while I do hope that my Thai skills will improve and I will be able to explain things properly one day, I rejoice that my weakness in this area at the moment enables me to remember that it is Jesus who is strong, not me!

So I hope the big flashing sign on my head doesn't just say WEAK, but:

'WEAK AND GLAD'

May God be glorified in all my weakness.

The Storm (pictures and words)

Last night we had a storm. It started around 7pm. The Youth House was full of people as usual. The wind and rain were so strong that power cables blew down in front of the Youth House (with a big bang and impressive explosive power!).
Plunged into darkness. Scrambling around looking for candles. P’Daaw was away, but, organised as ever, was able to tell us quickly where we could find the candles. We all felt very small huddled around candles in the Youth House with the storm raging outside and no electricity inside or out. Panicked people were all around. But if you were there you would have found it hard to forget that God was bigger than the storm, bigger than our fears. All night songs rang out from the Youth House, of God’s love, of His power, of thankfulness to Him, of His wonderful mercy that falls on us like rain. I am grateful to Best, who didn’t put that guitar down for hours, who kept playing, kept singing, even though all was chaos around.

And I am thankful that we worship a God who is bigger than storms and power-cuts and panicked students. I am grateful too for the opportunity I had to sit and read God’s word with a student for most of the evening, songs of praise to God ringing in our ears, reading by candlelight, in 3 different languages, she in Chinese, me in English and both of us in Thai, using Thai to discuss what we understood. God’s Word: a rock in a world of flux.

Last night was an unexpected but truly amazing evening.

I felt like I caught a glimpse last night of what it means for us to be a light to those around us. May the Youth House truly be a light in this dark neighbourhood.






On a more humourous note, one of the highlights of the evening for me was when the storm had passed over but the electricity was still out, and Best decided to go and make a cup of tea.
Best: (merrily filling the kettle)
AJ: Best, how are you going to use that?
Best: huh?
AJ: how do you think you are going to make tea using that!?
Best: (looks blank)
AJ: We have no electricity!!
Best: D'oh!!

Here is how he ended up making the tea (note the ladle!! I love the ladle!!):

Thai Cultural Lessons #5 [Sweet or Savoury?]

These tiny biscuits that you get with a cup of tea or coffee in most coffee shops in Thailand are a perfect example of the great 'sweet or savoury paradox'. This is a sensation one often gets in Thailand after eating any given food. At first you ask yourself every time - is this sweet? Or is it savoury??

And eventually you stop asking yourself that question because it happens every day. It took me ages to work it out with these coffee-biscuits...but now I have just accepted it. They are both sweet and savoury at the same time.

It sort of reminds me a little bit of the whole 'God's sovereignty and our free will' paradox...but slightly different...

Only in Thailand...

...is somebody more shocked that 'Banana' is a girl's name, than that it is a name at all!!

What am I beholding?

I was pleased to get this shot of young novice monks gazing out the window of the observatory tower, their eyes falling upon the local temple, in all its glittery array. I just wished I had my proper camera with me instead of just my phone, to get a better picture, I was only thinking about what would make a good photo...a snapshot of Thai life.

But looking at it again now it drives my thoughts deeper than artistic questions of lighting and composition. I am forced to challenge myself about what I am gazing on. This is something I seem to have to go back to over and over again.

When I start to gaze on the glittery man-made things in this life, or the black clouds that gather, or my fragile, broken self, instead of lifting my eyes up to the all glorious, majestic, wonderful, mighty God, I am no different to those novice-monks in the picture - looking to things that have no power to save. And I know when I have slipped into that pattern because the joy goes. I eat and am not satisfied, I drink and am still thirsty. I choose to drink from broken cisterns instead of the living water from God that wells up to eternal life. My eyes become glazed and I sit in darkness, drowsy and empty. I talk often about the battle to 'behold the light'. Jesus is THE Light. If I am not looking at Him where am I looking?

May I have ever increasing desire, discipline, conviction and capacity to behold the Almighty LORD of the heavens and the earth. Over all rulers and powers and authorities. May I keep doing so until that day when with the multitude, I will fall before His throne and cry:

"Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!" - Revelation 7:12

Thai Cultural Lessons #4 [Milk and Oil - unrelated to each other!]

Something which I am thankful for is that these days you can buy 'real' milk for your tea in Thailand. Something which makes me smile every time I buy it in 7/11 is that they give you a straw with your milk! Clearly adding milk to tea hasn't made it into Thai culture.


On a different note, this is the oil aisle in Big C:


Slightly more oil than you would find in an average Tesco in the UK!!

So many different types!