Saturday, 1 November 2008

Still beholding...

Skype conversation just now:
[22:38:16] Alison says:

I wanted to write something meaningful on my blog today as its my Christian birthday....
...but i need to iron...
...and sleep
[22:38:28] Jill says:
You could write that
...that Jesus is and should be in all our everyday life
...even ironing!
[22:38:46] Alison says:
i could...and may well!

And so I am.

5 years ago today my life changed very drastically. Jesus stepped in. Not that He wasn't always there, knowing me and loving me, but on that day He burst into my life and enabled me to start seeing Him for who He really is.

I didn't deserve it...quite the opposite! I was determined to live only for myself, to accept no help from a Saviour, to go my own way. And so left to myself I would have wallowed in that horrible pit of lonely darkness forever. Literally forever. And I would have deserved it.

But He didn't leave me there.

And so this beclouded soul didn't stop being beclouded...but it did begin to behold the Light. It stopped seeing only itself, it stopped delighting in fading realities and started to see and love and delight in something that will never end. Something wonderful no-less. It couldn't do that on its own...believe me it tried...and failed miserably...again and again. Sight and life and hope and light could come to me only because Jesus was willing to take on my horrible, ugly, dark, messed-up-ness on Himself as He was crushed and pierced and stricken in my place. My soul was able to behold light out of its darkness only because He came in and opened my eyes.

And 5 years on, it is still beholding…beholding the same wonderful Light…

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." "John 8:12

But as my soul is thrilled with this truth it is not paralysed. I do not mean you to think that the last 5 years have been spent entirely in private contemplation, thought and prayer, meditating on some kind of abstract ‘light’ that makes me feel better about things. Life with Jesus isn't that inward.

Jesus is a part of all of life - not just in feelings, not just in thoughts, not just for that first day when He rescued me, not just for bad days when I feel like I'm back in that dark pit again....but He is part of my life every day when I eat, when I sleep, when I am happy, when I am sad, when I go to the post-office, when I chat to students, when I am on facebook, when I am listening to music, when I am cleaning my teeth, when I am shopping, when I’m playing badminton, when I am washing dishes, when I’m playing the guitar......and when I am doing ironing.

All these things were meaningless before – just a means to an end. But now they are bursting with purpose! Because all of life is from and for Jesus!

So to the ironing I go. As one who has been rescued by Jesus, and is alive because He gives me each breath that I take.


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